My Dearest Betty,

Well, another year has past and it's January 22nd again. Tomorrow will make 3 years since you went home to heaven to be with the Lord, your dad and your mom. Whoever said it gets easier wasn't telling the truth. It doesn't get easier. You just learn to live with it. It's something like walking with a broken leg, you walk but it's painful. I've tried so hard, I really have, to go on with my life but I always come back to the stinging reality that you just aren't here anymore and that I must spend the rest of my life without you. However long it may be, so very lonely. I see you everyday in all the old familiar places. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not consumed with memories of you. I miss you so so much and somehow just can't stop thinking of you and the wonderful life that we shared. The most comforting times are when I'm at home. That's where I feel your spirit so strong. It's almost like you're there at times.When I go to visit the grave I always say "I'll see you at the house". I know my Bible and I know where you are and I know one day we will see each other again. But I'm so emotional and my emotions override my knowledge of scripture. I have to keep apologizing to the Lord for that. When I go into our room, I smell your sweet fragrance and it's like you are in the house. I almost call out your name. You are still with us, the children and I, in a very strong way. You have no idea how monumental you were in our lives. Truly a virtuous, elegant, wise, loving and caring part of our lives. We get melancholy every holiday remembering how you decorated our home and the wonderful meals you prepared. We miss all of that and all of the wonderful times we shared. God truly gave us a beautiful life together, we really have been blessed. The girls remind me so much of you Betty, you have left so much of yourself in them. They keep their homes like you, decorate like you, take care of their families like you, cook like you, and even look like you. I am so blessed to have them in my life. I can't even imagine going on in life without them, they are such a comfort and joy. And Betty, you would love the grandchildren. Anthony has gotten so big and tall, Brandon is almost 5 and Jonah is already 2. You would love them and I know you would be spoiling them. I pray that some how you know that you are mentioned everyday in our conversations and will never be forgotten or replaced. It has been three years and I'm still alone. I can't even imagine anyone else filling your place in my life. There will never be another Betty Lou. I've not even had one date, the girls in my life are my daughters. You were wrong sweetheart when you said I would have someone else in time. I told you no one else but you. Like the Bible says, one wife for life and you were and are my life. I'm writing this tribute more for me I guess, it feels so good to put my heart on paper and then read it. Oh Betty, you still fill my heart with such love and yes, I am still corny like you always said. It's hard not to be when I think of you. I keep praying for the rapture because like I always said, we are as a family going up together. I can't wait for that glorious day when we meet together in the air to be with the Lord united again. In the mean time, your memories fill my life and your precious strong spirit at home. God has slowed down the pace of my life and in doing so has given me more time to discover him in a new and fresh way. To find my faith again which at times seemed more like a memory then a current reality. I am beginning to be at peace with certain unalterable facts, though I still need Him to tell me everything is going to be all right. I thank the Lord for working with me. At times I realize I'm in unfamiliar territory gazing nervously at my destiny while still recovering from my past. After all this time I am noticing a subtle renewal or restoration within me and I think I'm beginning to heal. Strangely I feel somehow guilty about this, as though I'm being disloyal. I want to move forward but there's a strange emotional pull fighting to keep me where I am. I pray for the Lord to set me free from the battle within. I'm not where I used to be and I'm not where I'm going. I'm somewhere in between and I'm staying close to Jesus for direction.It truly is unfamiliar territory. I read that God never uses anyone to a larger degree until after he breaks that one all to pieces. Joseph had more sorrow than all the other sons of Jacob and it lead him out into a ministry of bread for all nations. For this reason, the Holy Spirit said of him in Genesis 49:22, "Joseph is a fruitful bough...by a well, whose branches run over the well". I guess it takes much sorrow to widen the soul for God's use, well so be it. I grieve the loss of my past and what my life could have been with you Betty, but I believe God is going to lead me to a calling I never could imagine otherwise.

                        My cherished plans may go astray,

                        My hopes may fade away;

                        But still I'll trust my Lord to lead,

                        For He doth know the way.

We find out how we react after our dreams are shattered. The question is, do we love God more then our own dreams? We find out after the trial what we truly are made of, God shows us. "At even my wife died; I did in the morning as I was commanded" Ezekiel 24:18

My world has changed into a cemetery containing one grave. The light of my home went out, darkness brooded over the face of every familiar thing. My trusted companion Betty who shared my life with me was taken from my side. I lost the desire of my eyes and my heart, I was alone. The light of our fellowship was suddenly extinguished as by some mysterious hand stretched forth from the unseen. Yes, in the evening my wife died; and I did in the morning as I was commanded. The old duty appears now in the gloom of my bereavement and I go on in my loneliness with my old tasks. You ask how? What is the secret of it all? Our great God wants our crisis to be an occasion of conspicuous testimony, our season of darkness and suffering to be an opportunity for the unveiling of the Divine. He wants duty to shine more resplendently because of the environing shadows. He wants us to manifest His sweet grace in our continuance amid the saddening upheaval of our life. This is the triumph of the servants life, to go on for God even in pain and sorrow, only to bring Him honor and glory then ever before. To show a watching world that His grace is sufficient. The very bereavement intensifies my calling. The evening sorrow will come to all of us: what shall we be doing in the morning? We shall have to dig graves; have burials: how shall it be with us when the funeral is over? As God's chosen, we need to make a pulpit of every circumstance. I hope you are proud of me Betty, I hope more that my Jesus is. I love you Betty, I miss you darling but I'll see you soon.

Your loving husband

                 xxxoooxxx

 

  DEAR LOVED ONES,

 

  I HAVE FOUGHT A GOOD FIGHT                                                                 I HAVE KEPT THE FAITH                                                                               I HAVE FINISHED MY COURSE                                                                     NOW THERE IS LAID UP FOR ME A CROWN                                             A CROWN OF RIGHTIOUSNESS

  WHICH THE LORD HAS GIVEN ME   

  AND NOT TO ME ONLY                                                                                BUT ALSO TO YOU…

  JOE, WENDY, GINA, RACHEL, JOEY, SHAUN, BRUCE,

ANTHONY, BRANDON AND JONAH 

CHURCH FAMILY AND DEAR LOVED ONES 

MY WONDERFUL FAMILY...

DON’T STAND THERE AT MY GRAVE AND CRY... 

                     …I AM NOT THERE  …I DID NOT DIE                                                                    I’LL BE WAITIN' FOR YA!                                                                              SEE YA….SOON!                                                                                                                                                    LOVE MOM                                                                                                       XXXOOOXXX

Dear Mama,

God saw you getting tired, when a cure

     was not to be,

So He closed His arms around you, and

    He whispered "Come to Me".

You do not deserve what you went

      through, and so He gave you rest,

God's garden must be beautiful, for

     He only takes from the best.

In time we saw you sinking, we watched

   you fade away,

Our hearts were almost broken, you fought

     so hard to stay.

But when we saw you sleeping so

     peacefully from pain,

We could not wish you back, to suffer

     that again.

If you had spoken before you died, these

   are the words you would have replied,

"Weep not for me, but courage take, and

     love one another for my sake."

There's not a single day that goes by Mom that I don't think of you. There's not a night that goes by that I don't dream of you. I think about you even in my subconscience mind, you are always there. I wish so bad that you could've met Jonah, but in a way I think you have.

I know you are his guardian angel. I can't wait to go to Heaven to be with you again. I love you Mama and I miss you so very much. Until then...

                                        All my love forever,

                                                      Rachel x0x0x0x

Betty Louretta Mallozzi

In Loving Memory of My Dear Mother      June 3, 1943 - January 23, 2007