In Memory of

  Betty Louretta Mallozzi

It doesn't seem possible that one year has past since her homegoing.  We look forward to seeing her once again when we meet together in heaven to share eternity with our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Until then, she continues to be missed greatly by her loving family.

                ~ Pastor Joe, Wendy, Gina, Rachel, Joey                                  and her family at Auburn Baptist Church

January 23, 2007

Betty Lou

Most of the important things I've learned in life- about loving, caring, giving, strength, being trust worthy and truthful, walking close with the Lord. I've learned from my mother.  She taught me valuable lessons about life. always listening with her heart and always there when needed. 

My mother was my very best friend, she was a warm hug, a voice on the phone that made me happy, a shopping pal that brightened my days. She was a generous smile with tender words that rang with wisdom. She was always there for me for so many years, to fill the voids, to counsel and console, sharing my good times and bad, she was an indispensable part of my childhood, and it all has carried on into my adult years.

She lives on now, in that secret, very special place, in my heart reserved for life's most treasured and everlasting love.

My mother went home to be with Jesus on January 23, 2007 at 3:15 p.m. and my life will never again be the same. She was my rock and my fortress.  She may have left us here on earth, but I am fortunate to have that hole in my heart filled to the brim with countless memories. Honestly, if I were to list all those fantastic moments with Mom, we would be here for years!

The one thing everyone used to notice about my Mom was her smile. She had the most beautiful one I've ever known, and it has been embedded in my mind no doubt since I was a baby and she looked down on me.  That tender smile burns through the fog of sadness and the haze of tears and reminds me how much she loved me and everyone in her family.

Mom loved celebrating every holiday and made each one special for us: Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines, St. Patrick's, 4th of July and birthdays. ever since we were children I can remember the house always being decorated to the hilt and having special meals for every occasion (one that stands out is green milk in our school lunch on St. Paddy's Day).  Once for April fool's she put a fake sandwich in Joey's lunch box!  We'd always find a little note on our pillow, in our lunch or in a coat pocket. for no specific reason. simply because she loved us.  She loved to give us little gifts of love either homemade or thoughtful things she would see while shopping that always fit each of our individual personalities perfectly.

Our home was always immaculate, our laundry always clean. I still remember the feeling of sliding into fresh smelling clean sheets that hung outside on the line all day.  I remember coming home from school, even work and before ever opening the door I could smell a delicious meal she had prepared. She loved to make dolls, curtains and clothes for us on her sewing machine. Even after she was diagnosed with cancer, Mom continued to do many of these things until she could no longer manage. She truly was a virteous woman and she taught me so much!

I will miss many things about Mom, including her funny sayings, which I recall now fondly and with a grin.  I miss the non-vocal communication my mother & I shared, she always seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.  We could look at each other and say "I love you" with no words at all.  I miss sitting with her and having our coffee together, sharing a good movie on TV, yard sales, antique shops and even though she always beat me at any game we played. I'd do anything to play one more with her and see her win.   

Her grandchildren were very dear to her and I enjoyed watching her interact with them with the same tender love I remember from my childhood days.  The Lord brought Brandon into our family shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer and he was such good medicine for her.  I use to love getting him all dressed up to visit Nonnie and seeing her ooh & ahhh over him when he would go running to her.  I remember how her heart just melted the first time he said "Nonnie".  In that short time, love bonds were made and to this day, Brandon mentions "Nonnie up in Heaven".

Mom, I love you and miss you but your spirit is burned into my heart and soul, thank you for a wonderful, rich fulfilling life.  I am so thankful the Lord allowed us to say our last goodbyes. We parted with no regrets, no unfinished business, and no unsaid words. Though we didn't want to see you go, you needed to, and knowing you were ready and unafraid made your leaving us that much easier. You left us just the way you wanted, and everything fell into place.

It would be hard to say which experience was more difficult for me: watching my mother die, or watching my father watch my mother die. Through my tears I saw a man remain faithful, impossibly tender, deeply caring and intensely in love, until the very end. Dad: you kept your vows, you both did, until death did you part. I found a poem this week, to honor the love you and mom had for each other. The poem is called, " Til Death Do Us Part" ~ Author, Unknown:.

Till death do us part, I will hold you.

Till death do us part, I will be there for you.

Till death do us part, I will Protect us.

Till death do us part, I will love you.

Till death do us part?

What does it actually mean?

Is it about being together,

Until we die?

Till death do us part, I shall carry you.

Till death do us part, I shall care for you.

Till death do us part, I shall be with you.

Till death do us part, I shall love you.

Till death do us part,

Will not be the end of my love,

For as long as I exist in body and soul,

My Love for you will carry on.

She is now fully, consciously present before God.  When death, "the last enemy" shall be destroyed, 1 Corinthians 15:26 and when God's every promise is fulfilled, the reunion will be sweet and there will be joy.

I have to ask myself what my mother would want for us right now.

I think she'd want us to heal and live our lives with everything she taught us.  To love each other, enjoy each other and know that she will always be with us. She'd want us to walk close with the Lord and live a life that she would be proud of.

This poem defines how I've felt this past year and how I know my mother would want me to go on:

 

I can shed tears that she's gone

Or I can smile because she has lived.

I can close my eyes and pray that she will come back

Or I can open my eyes and see all that she has left.

 

My heart can be empty because I can't see her

Or  I can be full of the love that we shared.

I can turn my back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or  I can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. 

I can remember her and only that she is gone

Or I can cherish her memory and let it live on.

I can cry and close my mind, be empty and turn my back,

Or I can do what she would want:

smile, open my eyes,

love and go on.

David Harkins

I  never wanted to talk about the "what if's" with my mom. I truly believed with all my heart that she would survive.  One day while sitting together on the couch at her house,   I remember breaking down and crying. she warmly put her arms around me, knowing what I was upset about.  I said mom, if there is any way you can give me a sign to let me know you are with me. that you can see me. Please, do it?  She said, Wendy, I will try my best.  I asked her to please beg God.  I thank the Lord for blessing me with that wish because my mom is in everything I see. from the bright star in the sky that night she went to Heaven until now, to the beautiful sunset one August night when I was feeling especially sad, to a fortune cookie shared between Rachel & I saying "Daughter, Miss You".  I smell her in the air, I see her hands when I hang my curtains, feel her guidance in all that I do,  I hear her voice when I'm uncertain of a decision.  Her legacy WILL live on through me, through each family member. for her love is embedded in us.  She will always be with me.

My Mother Is Always With Me...

She's the whisper of the leaves

as I walk down the street.

She's the smell of bleach

in my freshly laundered clothes.

She's the cool hand on my brow

when I'm not well.

My mother lives inside my laughter.

She's crystallized in every tear drop.

She's the place I came from,

my first home...

She's the map I follow

with every step that I take.

She's my first love

and my first heart break...

and nothing on earth can separate us.

Not time, Not space...

Not even death...

will ever separate me

from my mother...

I carry her inside of me...

Author Unknown

I'd like to leave you all with this quote, by Helen Keller.  She said, "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart"

IF, by the end of her life, my mother ended up touching all of your hearts ----then I ask you, what else can anyone ask for in this world, but to touch people's hearts. Thank you, Mom.

~ Wendy

To the Mallozzi Family,

I think I've only met your Mom one time before she passed, so I'm not sure why I would have a dream about her.  I have been driving around with flowers in my truck to place on her grave, but haven't made it back to the cemetery, so she has been on my mind.  Anyway, here's the dream......

      I went to the cemetery and finally found her grave.  I had two small bouquet's of flowers in my truck to give to her, but when I got there her stone was covered in beautiful flower's.  I had Bella with me, my faithful and loving dog, and I looked at her and said, "I feel funny just putting these two little bouquet's on her grave".  But, I placed them in her vase anyway and stood there for a few minutes thinking.  I turned to Bella and said, "I should thank her".  Bella stayed with your Mom while I went to my truck for paper and pen.  On the paper I wrote..."I don't really know you, but I really wanted to thank you for your girls.  Their love of family, their strength and their sense of humor is a gift I know they got from you."  I tied a sting on the piece of paper and attached it to her vase unsigned.  I thought about her and all you girls on the ride home and after settling in on the couch with Bella a picture popped in to my head.  It was the picture that was hanging in the church.  The one where there was a figure standing at the top of the stairs that wasn't there before.  Gina showed it to me once and I never forgot it.  Anyway, that photo popped in to my head just as clear as it could be, only the figure at the top of the stair's was half turned around and waving before they stepped through the door.  To me it felt as if they were saying, "it's alright and I'm doing great."

       I'm still not sure why I would have such a vivid dream about a women that I don't really know, but there must be a reason.  Maybe to reassure you girl's that she's happy and at peace.  Maybe one last message before her final trip.  Maybe it's a message for me in some way.  I don't really know, but whatever the reason is I felt the need or maybe the obligation to share with you and your sister's. 

       Take care Wen, and I hope this put a smile on your face.  For a person I never met I can feel that she was an amazing women that touched many lives in a positive way and that she cared and loved deeply...especially you girls.

       Love and Friendship, Roxanne 

'My Wild Irish Rose'